Becoming a small-town PD has afforded me a challenge I didn't anticipate: protecting the rights of my clients from crazy, unconstant, arbitrary, thick-skulled, bigoted bullies known as lay magistrate judges.
Consider if you will, one particularly lucid justification for a probation revocation: "I know some folks say you're retarded, but you really need to think about the consequences of your actions." My functionally retarded client got eight months in jail to "think about" the fact that he can't remember to check in with his compliance officer. Unbe-fucking-lievable.
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